Megillah

Pronunciation: me-gil-lah (does anyone actually know how to read these)
Definition: a long involved story or account.
Example Sentence: Any time my girlfriend’s sister recounts her day, it isn’t a “fun story,” it’s a whole megillah.

Some Fun Thoughts:

You know those people that when you—out of sheer formality—ask, “How was your day,” respond with, “At 6:29 a.m., I woke up. It was completely dark. Then I remembered to open my eyes. My boyfriend says I have beautiful eyes, and I’m like, Tyler, stop it! Gosh. He’s just the most perfectest perfect boyfriend. Isn’t he? Where was it? Ah, yes, it was dark. Then I opened my eyes. Moved my right hand to stop my alarm clock… which is green…” And you’ve hit your head off the coffee table so hard you’re unconscious bleeding out into the cobblestone street so that you don’t have to hear the rest of it.

(That first paragraph was a meta-joke.) That was an example (both in the context of the person’s story and the paragraph itself) of a megillah. Remember my schmear story? That was another one.

For a long time before megillah was the word that was used to refer to an overlong story or convoluted production, its primary meaning was a considerably different one. The Megillah (Biblical sense) is typically read out loud from a scroll in the course of certain Jewish holidays. At the beginning of the 20th century, megillah began to be used in a figurative sense to refer to a long or complicated tale. It comes to English from the the Hebrew, mĕgillāh, meaning 'scroll.' Which is kind of ironic, because now on social media, if someone starts into a megillah, we scroll.

Life is too short for megillahs. But it sure is a fun way to describe what you sat through at the dinner table. To paraphrase a 60s’ adage: Make love, not megillahs. Have a great day!